Couch Potato Central, Thailand
Most of the articles you’ll see on LifeBangkok are in the rather ‘What’s Going On / What’s Going to Go Wrong and What Went Terribly, Terribly Wrong’ political opinion, crime / news genre, ….
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So to add a little spice to our life here at Life Bangkok, it’s way past time for us all getting into shape. Now that the monsoon rains, thunder booms and electrical heat storms are more or less here to stay for awhile, we’ve still got to find time to keep the physical body in tune when the weather is stormy outside, or else you could end up on a one way off to the temple, where you’ll go ‘up in smoke’ like the tons of drugs the government just incinerated the other day in commemoration of International Anti- Drugs Day.
If you are doing drugs, we know you should stop it already and you know but enjoy them, … if even they aren’t good for you. So stop. It’s up to you. Needles and pills are especially a serious ‘no no’… ( the biggest threat to your health may be the possibility of doing a long ‘Thai Time Out’) or you may end up kicking in some serious dough to the policeman’s annual ball, m, … if even they aren’t good for you. So stop. It’s up to you. Needles and pills are especially a serious ‘no no’… ( the biggest threat to your health may be the possibility of doing a long ‘Thai Time Out’) or you may end up kicking in some serious dough to the policeman’s annual ball, … Alcohol though legal, is fattening and will lower your metabolic rate, but if you’re perennially thin, let’s say it has a few other detrimental effects, except for a little rose or red wine. Certainly a beer or two never killed anyone. But if the after effects are hurting you, then wait till holidays and weekends to celebrate. And please don’t drive for the rest of our sakes…!
…. Nobody likes an unrepentant couch potato, and the rest of you and yours will appreciate the effort to look a little more competitive on the job, at home and with your special ‘person’, whatever you do. So if you’re up on a rainy night with nowhere to go, jump up or down ( hold on – you can’t jump up OR down that’s impossible – it’s a package deal, Both/ And dude!) a few thousand times to the pulsating hip hop rhythm, and get the blood running all around. Drink strong caffeinated drinks, and read LifeBangkok’s archives! Then try to go to sleep. Good Luck…!
NOT…! You’ll be listening to the raindrops till 2:30 in the morning and waking up at 7:30 feeling like a hangover hit you from behind. So our first tip is exercise lightly before 9 or 10 p.m., and you’ll likely drift off to sleep sooner and get more deep sleep… If you are sensitive to being awakened at odd hours or are a borderline insomniac, (or a full blown one – like us), try ear plugs, a fan or 2, or air conditioners on low speed to provide that gentle soothing ‘hummmm’ of something that doesn’t disrupt your immediate earshot.
If like us, barking dogs are the problem and you’re thinking more seriously of some of those really cool firecrackers and mini –rockets the Red Shirts used against the authorities to launch at the barking psycho — pets – or better, the uncaring bastards who own them and seem deaf to the noise, join the club, we feel your pain… (one of the neighbors is deaf really, so what to do, we don’t know sign language for Shut Your Mutt Up!).
… IT occurs any time the crowing canines decide barking for an hour or two is a good time, at what, why only between midnight and 7:30 a.m.?? … It‘s probably part of their evolutionary exercise routine when they can’t run around too far. Like talking while on speed to guys who are stuck in jail…. Like who would want to be high on methamphetamine in jail ,without a taxi, no one to drive, nowhere to go and nothing interesting to do like drive all around Bangkok, but kill time all day …? That’s the most insane irony of all time!
The latest buzz is to take naps frequently, exercise and relax as often as possible to diminish the need to sleep a full 7 -9 hours per night, as to many the only way that will happen is with a good drink or sleeping pill –hardly a natural recipe for healthy sleep. Breakfast appears to be one of the most hellathy things to have. We are absolute non– breakfast fans, only forcing ourselves to eat at 9 or 10 a.m. because it’s cheap, quick and close by, freeing up the rest of the time for addictive blogging and internet surfing… Yeah! Also reducing light is a good idea to encourage rest, as the body produces melatonin, an important sleep hormone, which is preferable to taking sedatives. So dim lights at 11 p.m. or so to induce melatonin releasing. Reading before bed is also a great way to relax, likely better than surfing the internet, watching TV or movies, which cause a numbing mind set with mild overstimulation and provides too many options to choose from, with music videos, movies, sports, news, adult fare, live concerts, etc., and sometimes you get engrossed in something way past the tired phase and then you’re left up after midnight with no sense of sleepiness. So, you surf and search the channels again … and it’s a vicious cycle…. While a good book is likely to begin releasing the melatonin in subtle and gradually greater doses, without getting too wound up as the book will still be there tomorrow, unlike that ‘once in a lifetime’ free movie you’ve wanted to see. Just a good book will do a lot more than those to get the eyelids crashing down.
Diets are important as we all well know. Food that is high in fat, fried, or too spicy or sweet, aren’t not only healthy they’ll make it harder to get to sleep too. Got caffeine…? Good way to stay up till 2 or 3 a.m. we all know –so better stick to weak tea, or green tea until around 9 or 10 p.m. to allow you time to unwind the caffeine. Cokes and coffee are definitely going to zing you up till the next to latest show on the air… They also keep you from entering deep sleep and REM, or rapid eye movement phase, which is essential to dream cycles.
Good foods high in good cholesterol, low in bad cholesterol (LDL’s or HDL’s, we can’t keep them straight – Google it ok!) and saturated fat, and high in fiber can actually reduce your need for vitamins, medicine and doctor’s visits. Fiber keeps toxins in your body down. Fresh fish, fruit, white chicken, garlic, fish oil, leeks and onion as well as ginger, ginseng tea, fresh citrus and vitamin rich anti — oxidant veggies like broccoli, cauliflower, and other cruciferous types are great for warding off carcinogens, keeping blood pressure normal and the arteries and heart from disease. Finally exercise, regularly… What? Yes! Exercise at the keyboard by keeping weights next to the computer to remind you and when you hear the next fast, get up and go, jazzy, soulful sounds on the radio,– You get up and go, grab those weights and shake your arms and legs around really wildly for a few minutes, kick, twist and shout all over the dance floor, uh, erm, … we mean work cubicle. Then you’ll feel refreshed and ready to work again, … (although not advised for during peak office hours or if the foreign Managing Director is on tour – better wait till there’s no one around, or if like me, maybe safer at home). And if anyone does see you dancing a bit just wait till the next person comes in the room and they triy to point at you, then when they turn to tell their friend, stop and pose in a normal stance, to make it look like the other person is crazy and seeing things that aren’t there — you’ll be laughing while they are the joke…! (“Arai…? Khun baa!” Krai ? “= What… ? You’re crazy – who’s dancing?)
Or if you need to get out to a local park and just walk, lightly jog and stretch… even moderate relaxing movement is better than nothing. Finally, if you must sign up for a new course or exercise class in martial arts, yoga, swimming, tennis, aerobics, etc … New schools usually offer special promotional prices, so look to see if any new places are opening, like the newly vaunted Paragon –like Paradise Park Mall next to Seacon Square …. You can always find something new to do if you try to get out. Just have a ‘look see’. Walk about the malls and enjoy the sights of all the umm, uh, mmm,… ‘beautiful sights’… That should motivate almost anyone… Even You!
Good Food Ideas Vs. Bad Food Ideas
Try Sizzler, and just order the salad bar, there’s plenty there to satisfy everyone’s appetites, and no need to order more than you can eat and bring it home… You can’t eat your meat if you don’t eat your vegetables! Som Tam, a little spicy and Quay Tiaow soup is never gonna hurt you, except for a little later maybe, … Hopefully not… Keep a good anti-diarrhea med around. Some day it’ll be quite handy, trust us … A little brown bottle with an orange label called Seriogan is the best we found, available in drug stores with Chinese medicine. The stinkiest little balls you could imagine, like a mini-skunk tar smell, almost, but if you pop a few on a bad day, you’ll be regular in no time –They work and are only about 150 baht a bottle. Done deal.
AVOID durian, coconut sauces and fats, oils and curry. Strokes and heart disease are major killers here.. ( Yes, actually worse than drug dealing, except for a one year period or so back in 2003 when a certain former prime minister made it his mission from Buddha to wipe out a few thousand – But hey, they were just drug dealers, … at least some of them were; where was the U. N then … and where were the calls for U. S./ E.U. intervention? Go Away! Busy bodies!) Human Rights Watch recently reported of about 3,000 people killed, less than 1,000 were linked to drugs, …. Where is Thaksin on the ‘injustice’ ? Or, was it just his personal brand of ‘passion and zest for a drug free Thailand’… or was it getting rid of all the competition… ? Hmmm..
Oh yeah, … diet: Eat fresh fruit like the Thai girls do and you’ll look a little more like them … (thinner), and they like that– and so will you!
Fast food, pizza, and sweet snacks — Verboten, capiche? Try sushi, seafood and Japanese or Korean food instead. This means NO KFC, MCDONALD’S, SWENSENS, DAIRY QUEEN, PIZZA HUT or their evil twin PIZZA COMPANY, and yuppy nodes like STARBUCK’s, AU BON PAIN, and the literally millions of other bakeries, cafes, and the mother lode of sweet cookies, cakes and pies that are all around us, … luring and enticing us with their free Wi -fi, attractive staff, sweet smells, coffees, goodies and treats, … RESIST THEM, and their evil capitalist plot to expand into the next galaxy of fast, fattening foodom…. ! BE STRONG and strive to win the battle for survival of the fittest and defeat the schemes of the evil fiends of the fattest!
